Impossible Rest
by Touma No Miko
Summary: My first try at a FFX fic -or- a Aurikku fic, it sucks, but ah well!


(*) I don't own anything!  
Luff me, don't sue me!  
  


**IMPOSSIBLE REST  
an auron/rikku fic**  
_i was a superman but looks are deceiving_  
  
It's amazing how many things can go through your mind in the last few seconds of your life.   
Although for me, it wasn't really life anymore anyways. In the fleeting moments,   
I started to feel light headed, maybe that's the reason for me thinking about the things   
I did. Hell, I hoped it was. But with the way my current situation is now,   
I know that was just an excuse I made for myself. Why I'm still here makes no sense to me   
at all, which is quite unusual, being I could always make sense of things. Everything.   
I'm now standing here, once again a soul wandering about, when I should be permanently   
deceased by now. And for once in my life, I can't even ponder the reason I'm still attached   
to this world. Or I should say, I don't want to. I guess I must trace back some to figure it   
out... I had known what would happen, and it was no shock to me, it was quite a different   
story for my companions though. I'm sure they knew all the same, but the shock that fell   
upon each of their faces could almost betray that fact. I was faced with the young summoner of   
whom I was extremely proud, even with the pure emotion she was expressing at the moment.   
After some time and some words, I turned and glanced at Wakka, silently giving him my   
appreciation, then headed to Kimhari, saying my farewell to him with a quiet gesture.   
I smoothly turned back and headed for Lulu, giving her a silent nod which she well knew was   
my gratitude and respect. I then stood face to face with Rikku, even with the slight smile she   
was feigning, I could see her eyes glazing over. She wasn't a person I had expected to shed tears for me,   
but I passed her by all the same, forcing myself to smile back at her. Now, this is where I caught   
myself off guard, because even while I had my last few words with someone almost like a son,   
all that I could see in my mind was the bright green orbs about to spill over with tears that   
I had just glanced upon. As I slowed to stop in the last spot I would ever stand, I looked back   
at the faces of my companions, surveying each one, until I paused upon locking eyes with the tiny   
Al Bhed girl before me. She had given in and the small droplets started to cascade down her face.   
And at that exact moment, I was almost.. frightened. Frightened because I couldn't tear myself away   
from her face, even though it pained me to see her in such a state. Pained in a way I hadn't felt in quite   
some time, and that, was even more frightening. By this time, I couldn't really think, feel, or see, but   
I did hear one last thing before the final peice of myself evaporated. The girl choked out my name between   
her tears, and that was it. Ah, now this brings me to where I am. Once again I wasn't allowed to rest,   
though my promise had been fulfilled. Now all I can think about is that deep fear I felt just days ago.   
Of all the things _I_ would ever be scared of, it ends up being a harmless teenage girl.   
No.. it wasn't her that frightened me, it was whatever it was she had done to ME.   
After surveying my situation and constantly questioning the reason for it, everything went back to her.   
I don't enjoy admitting, in fact, I rather abhor doing so, but that girl had worked her way under my skin.   
Whether I had blocked that out, or just not realized it until now, either way, she was the source of   
all of this. Honestly, I to some extent, was rather disappointed in myself, that while I was meant to   
be dedicating all of my time to the summoner, I had let myself feel anything more than protective   
feelings for someone. I know now, that it just couldn't be helped, but was it for better or worse   
that I had been oblivious to my own feelings up until now? Knowing would have distracted me, but   
not knowing has forced me to end up back here once again. I suppose if any of my companions had   
seen me in my current state, they would have found it quite amusing. I was arguing with myself   
continuously, which I'm sure gave me a rather perplexed look on my face. Thankfully, I was completely   
alone. Very alone. I was used to it though. I knew I had to change the current situation I was in   
though, so I had no other choice but to head out and find those who I had just left.  
  


(*) Blaaaar, I haven't written anything  
in a horribly long time, nor have I ever written a FFX fic.  
So I'm sure this sucked big time, sorry! ^^;  
I was inspired by the -great- Aurikku fics on  
ffn.net, and had to write one. The next chapter  
should be up soon, tomorrow probably.  
Maybe even tonight..lol..  
Thanks for reading! Comment, pleaaase!  
- touma no miko  



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